[自分の回答]


Bulging a beautiful patrk or planting green are not bad way to spend their budget but I prefet to use city budget for improving their infrastructure, such as publuc road. People can not enjoy going to these attractive parks or green places due to heavy traffic jams or unconfirtable road. Repairing their road can make us happy. Cities are able to give workers jobs and invite many visitors. That's why I support the opinion that cities should have a priority to use their budger for repairing the




[添削回答]


Building a beautiful park or planting green spaces is a good way to spend city funds, but I prefer using the budget to improve infrastructure, such as public roads. People cannot fully enjoy parks or green areas if they face heavy traffic jams or uncomfortable roads. Repairing roads and improving public transportation helps everyone travel safely and quickly. It can also provide more jobs for workers and attract visitors, which benefits the city as a whole. For these reasons, I think cities should prioritize fixing their infrastructure before focusing on beautifying the community.




A1. "Repairing their road can make us happy."
⏩️ Repairing roads and improving public transportation helps everyone travel safely and quickly.
元の文では道路の修復のみに言及していましたが、交通インフラ全体の改善を強調するために「公共交通機関の改善」という重要な要素が追加されています。また、「私たちを幸せにする」という漠然とした表現を、「安全かつ迅速に移動するのに役立つ」と具体的に説明することで、メリットがより明確になっています。


A1. "That's why I support the opinion that cities should have a priority to use their budger for repairing the"
⏩️ For these reasons, I think cities should prioritize fixing their infrastructure before focusing on beautifying the community.
文頭の接続表現を「That's why I support the opinion that」から、より簡潔でフォーマルな「For these reasons, I think」に変更しました。また、「budger」というスペルミスを「budget」に修正し、文の後半の「cities should have a priority to use their budger for repairing the」という不自然で未完成な表現を、「cities should prioritize fixing their infrastructure before focusing on beautifying the community」という、より自然で明確な構文に改善し、文を完成させました。