the worst comes worst.


friday was girls' hang out.
hanged with jill and her friend at the new restaurant across the street from the store.
i had a few glasses of white wine, which was good. and then her friend went home and naghman joined.
we went to Fat Hippo where the guy jill's seeing works.
had a glass of martini.. strong! then Jill and I went to backroom for dancing.
jill left there and i went to Livingroom to see my friend who works there. i had a glass of water there.
all the conversation with jill made me cry so badly that night.
it hurts as hell. went to sleep..tired from crying.

Saturday
i went to brooklyn with Shoko, riding my bike and shoko was riding scooter. went to Aurora, cute italian restaurant for brunch.
super cute garden, and cute waiters! but my food wasnt so good.
we came back to the store and hanged out with renjith all evening till he left for midtown..taking my metrocard.
i was having beers.. till he came back. Renjith was late as hell. and needed my metrocard to go to brooklyn for my friend's Hat Party.
he came back so late for me to go to hat party.
so i rode a bike to another party i've been looking forward to going.
i got lost a little bit and started raining a little bit but
i managed to get there. the music was great. so i blasted!
danced crazy and had loads of fun!
till this guy came on to me. we danced together and he kissed me.
fuckin kissed me. such a bad kisser.

then i froze.
Ernest was there. He saw me kissing some other guy.

"you need to move out"
that was the last word.


i froze.
everything seemed frozen.

now i put label called "bullshit bitch"on my own.
why, the worst.
i'm still seeing him and love him.
why so many bad things happen between us.

is it a punishment of what i've done or what.

why eric wasn't there? why juri wasn't there?
my night turned into a nightmare for me.

when i leave the place, i went to Ernest.
He pushed me away with his two hands.

ai ｜MAIL