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Fandom: Colin Farrell RPS
Date: December 15, 2004
Disclaimer: Okay, this is just my own little fantasy and not meant to
interfere with any copyrights or anything.
Summary: If Colin wants to play Alexander, he's got to prove to Oliver
Stone that he can do it.
Dedication: To my pal Ryan who is a Colin Farrell fanatic.
Beta: Mistress Marilyn (turnabout is fair play). Give her a break --
it's late and she really needs to get to bed!
Warnings: Real people, slash sorta, some bad language (of course).
Author Notes: Just fooling around. I sincerely hope this offends someone.

"How badly do you want the part, Colin?"

"We've been at this for five hours. I'm starving and I stink of sweat!
What more do you need?" Colin shook his head in frustration.

Oliver Stone picked up his cell phone and punched in a number. "Bring
sandwiches and more beer," he ordered. He sat down in front of Colin
Farrell and leaned forward. "Now, Colin, let's cut the crap. Do you
want to be Alexander or not?"

Colin swallowed, then took a drag on his cigarette. Finally he nodded.
"What?"

"Can't you guess? This is a man I've loved my whole life, since I was
far younger than you are now. I won't know you're Alexander until I
can see it and feel it for myself."

Sighing, Colin stook up. "You wanna fuck me, then?" he asked.

"Would Alexander let me fuck him, Colin?"

Colin kicked the folding chair in front of him, sending it clattering
across the room. "What then? Just tell me, for chrissake!"

"Get out," Stone said to the others in the room. "I'm not going to
tape any of this Colin. This is just for me."

There was a tap on the door. A dark-haired man poked his head in, and
Stone motioned him inside as Stone's assistant and cameraman exited.

"This is Jonathan Rhys-Meyers, Colin. I'm thinking he might play
Alexander's friend Hephaistion or one of his other comrades-in-arms."

"Jonny," Colin said, acknowledging the young man with a nod. "Sure, we
know each other. He's from Dublin, too."

"County Cork, actually." Rhys-Meyers reached out and shook Colin's hand.

"Hephaistion was Alexander's closest confidante, and they were
undoubtedly lovers at some point in their relationship. I need to know
you can portray this believably, Colin," Stone explained.

"What's the scene?"

"Alexander's army has just defeated the Persians, and Alexander and
Hephaistion are in Babylon. They're both attracted to Persian customs,
and Hephaistion is jealous of Alexander's attentions to a Persian
slave boy. Improvise."

Colin and Rhys-Meyers faced one another, staring for a long, silent
minute. Then Colin spoke, curbing his Irish accent just a bit. "You
have no right to expect me to be faithful to you, Hephaistion. I'm
their king, too. I have to love them."

"Loving them in your throne room is different than loving them in your
bedchamber, Alexander! How long has it been since we lay together?"

Colin approached Rhys-Meyers and placed one hand on the side of his
face, stroking it gently. "Don't begrudge me this, Hephaistion. It
doesn't change anything between us."

Jerking away, Rhys-Meyers smiled ironically. "If nothing between us
has changed, you must want me still, Alexander!" He reached forward
and pulled Colin to him forcefully. "I remember well what this was like."

Colin's hand went out automatically and struck Rhys-Meyers in the
face. "You forget I am now the king, Hephaistion. I will never be that
boy again!"

"We'll see!" Rhys-Meyers raised a hand to his lip, wiping away a trace
of blood.

The two men began to struggle, tentatively at first, then with growing
fervor. Oliver Stone sat back, watching intently as Colin wrestled
Rhys-Meyers to the floor.

"What are you going to do with him now?" Stone asked. "Show him you're
the king, Colin!"

Colin roughly pulled down Rhys-Meyers' jeans, pushing the man down on
his face. He leaned against the actor's backside and simulated anal
intercourse, thrusting his pelvis forward. "You think I can't take you
like this, Hephaistion?" he said, panting. "I can fuck you whenever I
want!"

"Good!" Stone commented. "Make me believe it, Colin."

Continuing to stroke against Rhys-Meyers, Colin chattered breathlessly
about his love for Hephaistion and his desire to conquer the world, as
well as his young Macedonian friend. Rhys-Meyers groaned and sighed,
pushing back against Colin's crotch. Finally Colin stiffened and cried
out in a dramatic, simulated climax.

There was another tap on the door. "Just leave the food and go!" Stone
called, watching the two young actors sitting on the floor.

"Was it good for you, mate?" Colin asked, lighting up another Camel.

Laughing, Rhys-Meyers nodded. "It's an honor to be buggered by
Alexander the Great."

"Now let's see you kiss him," Stone commanded. "You can't fake that."

Sighing, Colin reached over and pressed his lips against the full
mouth of Rhys-Meyers. "Gimme some tongue," he said. "We might as well
show Oliver we're not afraid to snog another boy."

"Actually, I prefer snogging boys, Colin," Rhys-Meyers said with a smile.

Colin laughed. "Sure. It's easy, then."

The two kissed, Colin again the agressor, using his hand to hold
Rhys-Meyers' head as he worked his lips and tongue. Rhys-Meyers
emitted a low moan as Colin kissed him, closing his eyes and opening
his mouth.

"Good," Stone said. "Very good."

After a few minutes Colin pulled back and took another drag from his
cigarette. "Jesus, I needed a smoke after that. You're a fuckin' good
kisser."

"Jon, leave us alone for a minute. I'll call you when I need you
again," Stone said. Rhys-Meyers nodded, reaching and grasping Colin's
wrist over the leather bracelet he wore.

"See ya' later, mate," he said.

"Hope so."

Stone walked out with Rhys-Meyers, picking up the tray of food and
beer -- a selection of Miller Lite, Coors and Guiness. Colin got up
and grabbed a bottle of Guiness and half a sandwich. "I'm starving,"
he said again, sitting down on the couch and reaching for the bottle
opener.

"I heard you'd be a problem about this, Colin," Stone said. "The word
is you're homophobic."

Colin grunted between bites. "That's bullshit! I just finished a movie
where I kissed a guy. I'm an actor! I'll do whatever it takes."

Sitting down on the couch beside Colin, Stone said, "I see that,
Colin. That's good news. Because I'm starting to believe you can do this."

"Starting?"

Stone nodded. "Starting . . . I just have a few more questions in my
mind."

Sighing, Colin set down his beer. He turned and faced Stone, taking a
deep breath. "Okay, Oliver. Let's answer your questions."

"Good." Stone smiled. "Now I'm Alexander, Colin. And you're Hephaistion."

The End



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